No Satisfaction

Dear Johnny,
When will Deputy Brown Sugar come over and rock my world??
-Megan Fox

Dear Megan,
I know you are recently single, but unfortunately Deputy Brown Sugar neither has the stamina nor skill to ever properly satisfy you. (Is it true? Magic 8 Ball says: As I see it yes) I'm sure there are other Big Wheel Biker Gang members that are up for the task.
Best of luck,

P.S. That'll teach you to impersonate celebrities, Brown Sugar!