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Burn the International's passport!

"The International" sports a plot to thin to be a drama and not enough action to be an action movie, which may be why it couldn't even beat out "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" (in it's 4th week... See, I told you it was funny). Clive Owen plays an Interpol agent bent on bringing down the IBBC, an international bank determined to control the world's debt. Their plan? Buy missiles and guidance systems and resell them. Why? To show they mean business, so they can start selling small arms made in China to third world countries. Err? Yeah, I don't know either... Their evil plans comes down to starting these small wars, so they can control the debt coming out of these wars. Apparently, the key to controlling the world is controlling the world's debt. It seems like a lot of work to go through, when the heads of the bank already have more money than they can spend.
The only real action or suspense comes in a shootout in the Guggenheim Museum in New York City. So, if 5 minutes of action isn't worth 8 to 10 dollars to you, stay home and enjoy your beer on the couch and watch the commercial. That will pretty much sum up the movie for you. Oh, and block out that first part of the commercial where the ATM has options to murder. Luckily it was never in the movie and is just a lame reference to the fact the bank murderers anyone that gets to close to finding out the truth.


Kristen Bell dressed as Princess Leia in the slave outfit? If you need more, there's also the real Princess Leia, Seth Rogan as a pimp, William Shatner as himself, Jay and Silent Bob, Ethan Suplee, and Billy Dee Williams!
The story revolves around a group of friends struggling with conflict of real life and following their childhood dreams. Childhood dreams obviously win out or it would have been a very short movie. The film doesn't bring much new to the road trip genre, but it is an enjoyable 90 minutes.
The jokes are accessible to most, but if you hate "Star Wars," you're probably better off avoiding it.

"Push" it in front of a bus

My advice. Watch the first minute of the movie, find a 90 minute movie and sneak into that theater, and go back to catch the last 30 minutes of "Push."
Since WWII, governments of numerous nations have been doing human experiments in an attempt to create super soldiers. They've created "pushers" that can move things with their minds, "watchers" that can draw the future (but, everything that happens changes their visions, so they're constantly scribbling new pictures), "sniffers" that can find people by their scent, and the list goes on. For some reason, the American government has decided to create a serum to turn these enhanced beings into super duper soldiers. The only problem is it kills each subject immediately when they're injected... until Kira (Camilla Belle) is injected. She doesn't seem to get any more powerful, but she at least survives and then goes on the run with the last vial of the super duper serum. At that point the movie loses all direction.
So, the American government doesn't want other governments to get the serum. But, why does it matter? It's killed every other test subject. Why did Kira hold onto the vial and not just pour it down the drain? How did everyone end up in Hong Kong!? Why have all these governments had super soldiers for almost 70 years and never done anything with them? How is Dakota Fanning, at 13 years old, surviving on her own in Hong Kong? And the questions go on...
Then there's the creepy factor. Dakota Fanning puts in a good performance, but she spends the movie running around in hooker boots. Then there's the "sniffers," who instead of picking up scents from clothes or other similar things as you would expect, seem to have a penchant for sniffing toothbrushes and old lipstick.
At the end of the movie, you're left wondering why everyone was running around for the last 111 minutes. Best of all, they leave it open for a sequel. Dakota Fanning's mom, the most powerful of them all, is still in captivity. So, see you in "Push 2." I have a feeling Dakota won't be there.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

With a high potential of being horrible (it is a movie about a mall cop riding around on a segway), "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" resists the urge to be overly cheesy and is actually pretty enjoyable. The only things you'll have to overlook... 1) The mall being taken over by rejects from the X-Games and 2) The bad guys being named after reindeer.
The story line of the underdog doing something spectacular to win the girl is nothing new, but if you're looking for a good laugh "Paul Blart" is worth the watch.