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WTF? Eagles Porno Music...

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Why did the Eagles put a porn soundtrack to this poor girl's video?

Elena Satine

It's been many seasons since I watched Smallville, but I tuned in a few weeks ago and found the latest Hot Chick entry, Elena Satine. On Smallville, she plays Aquaman's companion, Mera, and spends the majority of her screen time in a bikini. Previous to that, she's only had a few bit parts in random TV shows, like the now cancelled Melrose Place.

Faster.. Not so fast...

The Rock is the star of Faster, out to avenge the death of his brother, but receives the least character development. Sure, it's an action movie, but he receives so little development, you are left not knowing whether you're supposed to like him or not. Fresh out of jail, he's on a mission to kill everyone responsible for his brother's death. Turns out his brother was part of a bank robbing gang that got double crossed.

3 at a time...

Dear Johnny...

1) What girls like me at my school? How many? Wat r their names?
-Starbucks

2) How do I get my crush to like me? Thanks for everything.
-Blueberry

3) Who is crushin on My BFF Grape? What about her little sis? Does my crush have a cold?
-Blueberry

Dear Starbucks and Blueberry,

1) 2. Jessica and Michelle. Magic 8 ball says... "YES."

2) Ask them to hang out. If they say no, forget 'em... You can do better. Magic 8 ball says... "You may rely on it."

Keep it Pimpin'

Dear Johnny,
What am I wearing?
-Trevor

Dear Trevor,
Well, if you were a real pimp, you'd be wearing this...

Magic 8 ball says... "My sources say no." Well, if it's not what you're wearing, get shopping!
-Johnny

I just want to be friends, Beth Cooper...

Maybe Chris Columbus and George Lucas should take a long vacation together, so they'll stop making movies. The valedictorian of the high school realizes his graduation speech will be the last time he'll have the chance to say anything to Beth Cooper before their ten year reunion, so he goes for it. It's all down hill from there. There's no real character development throughout the movie.

Vampires

Dear Johnny,
How do we become vampires without being bitten? If you cant think of any other way, where would we find a vampire in Arizona?
-Bunch of Friends

Dear Bunch of Friends,

Olivia Wilde


Megan Fox has the hots for her, so I don't really know if I need to say more. This week we bring you Olivia Wilde. You may have seen her before in "The O.C." or "House" (although straight, she oddly enough played a lesbian in both), but you may not see her next work, "Year One." Oh well, we'll forgive her. A girl needs a paycheck!

India de Beaufort

I can't say that I've seen any of her work, but who doesn't love a beautiful woman in leather?

The Other Mall Cop Movie

They tell you not to call it the "other mall cop movie," but that's what it is... if Paul Blart was allowed to swear. Mall cop with dreams of becoming a real cop? Check. Mall cop with crush on a mall worker? Check. Someone robbing the mall? Check.

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